I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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