Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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