I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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