So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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