he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
