Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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