Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize