i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
