its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
