I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
