We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
