I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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