Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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