so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize