We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize