i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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