it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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