redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
