then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
