you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
a search helicopter?!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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