remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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