he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
