I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
