don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How's work?
Spinning.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
