that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.