Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.