The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dating After Heartbreak
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila