He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.