It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
