I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
