So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize