maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize