Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
