She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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