I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
