Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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