Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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