Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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