Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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