Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
