i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
