You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
