My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
