I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize