Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
