omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
