Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
