Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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