Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
