yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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