What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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