you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
