All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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