woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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