but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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