I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
