You're so nebulous sometimes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
