How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
