hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
