Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
