whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
