no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
