If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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