Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
