that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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