he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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