you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
God I need to hump something, right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
