don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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