Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
