At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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