my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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