You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
