I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
