Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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